Totally Wingin' it

Overwhelmed & Unprepared.
These are the two words that have been on repeat in my head since the night we spent in the hospital a couple weeks ago. I guess that night kind of scared me, and made me question how prepared I am for this whole baby thing. I remember thinking, "If we have this baby now, what in the heck are we going to do!?" We literally have three outfits laying on the floor of our empty nursery, I haven't read/taken any birthing classes, and heck... I don't really know what to expect when we bring our babe home for the first time. I have to add that my excitement definitely outweighs my nerves, but it's all just a little overwhelming... I know I still have a solid 8 weeks to go (Please keep cooking baby!!) but time feels like its slipping from me everyday. I guess I'm mainly writing this post to seek some advice: What did you (or others you know) do to feel less overwhelmed and a little more prepared for all this baby madness?


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  2. I just had my baby two months ago. He was my first one and ... He came 5 weeks early. Honestly you don't know what to expect when you have your baby. Because it's so different for everyone. They told me I would be pushing for two hours. I pushed for ten min and he was out. The epidural was my life saver. Even if you're scared of needles. It's not any worse than a regular shot! My advice pack a bag now! With shampoo and conditioner ! Since he came early we had nothing and that was obnoxious. And finally breastfeeding is difficult at first. It gets easier with time. But don't feel bad if you have to switch! There is so much to say. But I don't want to write a Novel on here. Message me on FB if you want to know anything else girl. Good luck lady! - Arielle Borcik over at

  3. For me, I was surprised that when my sweet little one got here, my nerves were silenced by a natural mothers instinct that kind of just kicked in. Not saying that preparing isn't important, I completely think it is; but I also think that theres a little part inside of us (as mothers) that is more prepared than we give ourselves credit for. :)

  4. It is definitely nice to be prepared. Especially when you get home from the hospital and you have enter the "real world" where you are on your own. But at the same time, your motherly instincts kick in immediately when you see your little one. And it calms all your nerves. EVERY baby is different so I feel like something that works for one baby doesn't work for another.

    My advice is not to stress too much. Enjoy these moments they fly by. My baby is already 16 months and it feels like yesterday when I had her. I think you can spend too much time reading and worrying that you are doing things wrong, and then you start to feel guilty and stressed. And it doesn't do any good! ;) I made that mistake in the beginning. Trust your gut it's usually right and rely on your spouse for help.

    P.S. I had a surprise, and it was so awesome. I am going to do it with all my babies, because it made the delivery SOOO special. Having a baby is special no matter what but I just feel like it made the moment all the more magical. Good Luck!

  5. Good luck girl!!! I wish I could give you some "real advice". One thing I learned after doing clinical as a student nurse in L&D was that most women who have a "birth-plan", fail at said "plan". Probably not what you wanted to hear right?? If I've learned anything about my current situation with a job hunt it's that the more you try to control things, the more worried you will be. Just pray :) Heavenly Father loves you, and he's sending you a cute little bundle of joy! He trusts you with that baby, and you'll know exactly what to do.

  6. My husband and I did the third trimester class at the hospital I delivered at. I thought we were taking it more for him because I tried to do a lot of reading to know what to expect, but we both ended up learning a ton in the class!! I was really scared too, about all of the "unknowns" but I swear to you, this mother instinct thing is real! And even though it isn't always easy, it will come to you. I am so excited for you and Brad. As soon as this babe gets here you will wonder what you did so long without him/her in your family. My advice is let your hubby be involved and help as much as he can. It will make both of you stronger and strengthen your relationship. And let's face it, there is absolutely nothing better than seeing the love of your life love your baby! I can't even wait for you Hailey! It is everything everyone says it will be, and so much more. Try to enjoy every single bit of it because it is the most special experience I think any mom could ever go through!

  7. i took zero classes, I read zero books, I asked for little advice. I am the type that if I read and figure stuff out before something happens... I'm usually more paranoid. Sure on the way to the hospital I was freaking out, but it's a special little journey. Yours will be different and unique to you. I have 2 little girls. (3 and 1 1/2) babies need diapers, plain white onsies, food, and a comfy little place to sleep. Don't stress. You got this :) and you'll be surprised what comes so naturally, because you'll love that little baby like nothing you've ever loved before.

  8. Hailey, I know it's hard and scary but try to relax the best you can. You and Brad will be fabulous parents! The book "What to expect when you are expecting" is fabulous and "What to expect the first year" is also very helpful. (let me know if you want me to pick these up for you, I would be more than happy to :) Also, your the Mom, remember that. Everyone will tell you how it is suppose to be, but every baby and mom and situation is different, so try not to stress out. I wanted everything to be perfect and ready and then I got stressed when it wasn't. Not good for Mom or the baby. the first few months all the baby needs is you and Brad and diapers and onsies and sleepwear, so the clothes will come and we would be happy to organize things for you if you want. Remember, it's OK to ask for help, it's OK to nap when the baby is sleeping, the house will be OK. You need to take care of yourself and let others help. Don't hesitate to ask. I would have loved some help, but I thought I could do it all and in turn I just got stressed out and I am sure I missed precious moments. It goes by so fast, try not to stress out and let us know what you need and we will be more than happy to help!! We can pick up groceries, come clean the house, hold the baby while you sleep, whatever you need, know that we would LOVE to help in anyway!! Seriously, just let us know and if you want me to go get those books, I totally would :) my cell is 801-598-9600 don't hesitate to call or text!! Love you! Miss you!! take care of you and rub your belly for me!
    Kelly Passey and girls

  9. I'm 27 weeks and am in the same boat as you! We have a non-put together 'nursery', a diaper bag, a box of diapers i got on an amazon sale day, and a blanket i made on a whim one weekend! So looks like you're more prepared than i am with three outfits.

  10. Don't worry - it will all fall into place. You really can't prepare for how immensely this will change your life. Make sure you have some diapers, wipes, outfits, etc. but other than that it's a figure it out as you go process - and, never fear, you will figure it out!! The moment you see that little guy or girl, your mother-instinct will kick in and you will do a great job, I'm sure of it :-) Just be prepared to fall more in love with something than you ever, ever thought possible! Best, Melissa

  11. When I was pregnant, I saw this blog post and she gave some really useful tips on things you will want at home for your recovery. No one really tells you what you will need for recovery, so I found her list really useful. Buy all this stuff before you have the baby, and take everything leftover from the hospital home. Especially the squirt bottle!

  12. Oh I felt the same way! Looking back now, it's not as scary as it seemed. Read all the books you want, but in the end remember that you have the mother's instinct, you know best! :) You'll end up getting clothes at baby showers and as presents, so don't stress too much! Be sure to have a few newborn clothes (not 0-3 months) on hand. We didn't have any and my daughter was teeny! (and if you don't need them, you can return them!) Our first family outing was to Target to pick up some itty bitty clothes, since she had nothing that fit :) You'll do great!!

    ^^ and I totally agree with everything mentioned above! Take everything from the hospital, especially the large panties (trust me!), the squirt bottle, the spray, and the cooling pads. They are miracle workers :) (don't worry too much about it now, you'll figure it out when you get there!) also, take the nose squeezer thing from the hospital and all the extra diapers ;) If you're really nice to your nurses, they'll even send you home with more!

    GOOD LUCK! You'll do fabbbbbulous. :) xo

  13. You will be a great mom. No matter how much you know, books you read, or how prepared you are, the moment you are thrown into motherhood you will be a great mom. Everyone's experience is different and the fact that you care shows you will do wonderful.

    I will be praying for you!

    Victoria @

  14. I read a lot of books, and although it made me feel more prepared, one thing I've learned is that with each pregnancy and each birth, my experience is very different. Know that you're in good hands and that you are a mother instinctively. It is overwhelming to think about, but take it one day at a time. Once the baby is here, you'll really enjoy having him or her in your arms and you will probably feel better. Compared to being morning-sick, I think labor and delivery are relatively easier. (I had an epidural with all 3) It's short and then it's over. Your adrenaline is rushing and you're so happy to hold that baby! Good luck sweetie. I'm thinking of you.

  15. You'll never be prepared, like ever. It's not going to be the experience that you read about. It will either be easier or worse. In my case it was easier than I thought; I didn't even go to a birthing class. My husband held my hand and I pushed. After that, I hate to tell you, but you will have to figure it out on your own. I think bringing home baby will be easier than you think it's gonna be especially with hubby by your side.

  16. Don't overwhelm yourself. You are at a point now where having a daily to-do list with just 1 thing is okay!

  17. Hailey… Hailey… Hailey! It's all going to be fine. When my daughter was born, we didn't have a nursery set up. But it was fine. She slept in the pack n' play or in our arms in our room for the first 5 months. Then she moved to her own room. And we only had 0-3 month clothing when she was born. Then she was only 7 pounds, and we needed newborn clothing, so I sent my husband and dad to the store and they did great! She lived in pajamas for the first 3 months of her life. Newborns need little to survive. Sustenance, sleep and love. You can provide that! You are going to be a great mother! What am I saying? You are already a great mother. You are putting your baby before yourself - that makes you a good mom! You're awesome! You can do this!

  18. Hi Hailey, I"ve been following your blog for about two months now. It's very charming and your photography is lovely.

    I read through the comments posted and these ladies give great advice. I relate mostly with "less is more" when it comes to babies. In this day and age we can get so consumed with having the latest and greatest when really what your baby needs is to be fed, held, loved and swaddled, with a really good swaddling blanket... :) Swaddle, swaddle, swaddle. I can't emphasize this more. :) Try to stay close to the spirit. Time and time again I've been guided by the spirit with regard to my babies and children in general.

    Also, after a few weeks of having my first baby home I was so tired, worn out, I asked myself more than once, "what have I gotten myself into?" If you find yourself feeling this way at all, know that this is normal. I wish someone had to told me this. Of course I was in love with my baby, but adjusting can be hard. So truthfully, I may have really fallen in love when he started sleeping through the night. Ha!

    Take care and best wishes for the upcoming weeks ahead,


  19. With my first I didn't prepare at all!! I got clothes and stuff, but that's about it. When he was born and we left the hospital, I was like, how the heck am I supposed to take care of a baby!?! But we eventually got the hang of it. ;) no matter how many books you read you won't be 100% prepared to be a mom. No one ever is. But you learn as you go and it gets easier. You can do it! Don't worry. :)

  20. Feeling prepared is totally a great feeling, but honestly for a first baby I don't think there is any way to be fully prepared. Every experience and every baby is different so I don't think any amount of reading will fully prepare you.

    I know how totally nerve wracking that is, but trust me, once that little babe is here those nerves are going to be shot down by motherly instincts you never knew you even had. You learn as you go.

    Try not to stress over the small stuff. It'll all be okay- and you'll have a perfect little baby that you are so in love with :)

  21. You have no idea who I am and I have no idea who you are. All I know is I stumbled upon your blog while googling Marydesigns necklaces. I am a fellow Mormon that resides in Boise, Idaho. I have been a nurse for over 2 years and have spent my time in Post-Partum and L&D. I don't have any children yet but I do have some things that I have made a mental note about to do when I have kids. Here it goes:

    1. Don't be sad if your "birth-plan" doesn't go as you wanted it to. Actually. Forget the birth plan. Leave it at home. Don't bring a copy to the hospital for the nurses to put in your chart. You will get made fun of and eye rolls from every nurse. If you have seen a doctor or midwife through your pregnancy, chances are, they have asked you what your plans are for labor, delivery, post partum, pain meds, etc. Your doctor will know what you want and your nurses will be your support person to help you and get you what you want. Every hospital I have worked at does skin to skin after delivery, lets the dad cut the cord, and encourages early breastfeeding. Unless something "bad" happens, they usually keep mom and babe unseparated. I don't like to be held accountable to a piece of paper that tells me what I can and can't do with my patients especially if something differs from the "plan". I love to be on a personal level with my patients and help them through what they need AT THE MOMENT THEY NEED IT, instead of taking orders like waitress.

    2. Take stool softners after delivery. Colace (Docusate Sodium) is a stool softner that are in the isle at walmart or walgreens and is what the hospital will usually give you. Pain meds (oral and epidural) and c-sections slows your bowels down, giving your intestines adequate time to take out all the water out of your stool and thus making you constipated. You want to drink lots and lots and LOTS of water along with taking 100 mg of Colace twice a day. I promise you that the post-partum poop is no fun because its like birthing a second baby.

    3. Google the 5 S's for newborn babies. This technique works miracles. I promise you will be a changed woman if you read up on this and your baby will be calmed so much easier.

    4. Just leave all the baby's things at home. The hospital will provide diapers, wipes, blankets, hats, shirts, snugglers, etc. that there will probably be extras for you to take home too. Nurses will be doing frequent assessments on you and babe while you are in their care, so to unzip a jumper, open up a onsie, plus take off the 5 blankets grandma made always takes extra time, that we don't have nor do you want us in your room forever. :) If I could recommend anything to bring with you for the baby, bring a take-home outfit, a binky, and maybe a couple diapers and a pack of wipes (for the car ride home just in case). Those hand covers/mittens, socks, toys, extra blankets, and headbands ALWAYS get lost, so just leave them at home. I would also look into getting a boppy pillow if you plan to breastfeed. The hospital has a million pillows laying around, but the boppy pillow is much easier to use.

    5. Bring more stuff to the hospital for YOU and your man than for the baby. YOU are the one that gets the blunt of all the nasty's that comes with labor and delivery. Sweat, blood, tears, poop, pee, amniotic fluid, IV fluids, KY jelly, etc. will be on or around you almost all the time. You will want to bring shampoo, conditioner, body wash, because those are things that hospitals lack on. It's kind of like the stuff you get at a stuff that will make you feel worse than before you took a shower. You will want to bring snacks for you and your hubby for after delivery, who knows when you will deliver or when the kitchen will be shut down for the night. You will get meals from the hospital but your hubby may not. So I would just have muchy foods in your room with you.

  22. 6. Don't be afraid to take pain medications. If the doctor prescribes it, then you should trust that it is safe for breastfeeding. That is the most common myth about pain medications. I could go into alot of detail about this, but I'll keep it short ant sweet, if it wasn't safe, they wouldn't let you have it.

    7. YOU WILL BLEED. alot. like wayyyyy more than a period. It is like 5 periods combined. You will bleed up to a week ...closer to two. Depending on what you do after delivery, you could cut down the bleeding. You may (or may not) have heard about fundal or uterine massages that the nurses will do after you deliver. Basically, after the placental has detached from the side of your uterus, it has all those blood vessels exposed, and that is where the bleeding comes from. Your doc may give you some pitocin after delivery to clamp down your uterus, this helps clamp down those blood vessels and keeps you from bleeding out or having a PPH (post partum hemorrhage). the pitocin only lasts a couple hours, and USUALLY that is adequate time. but as nurses, we have to check to make sure your uterus is clamping down, which means you'll be getting a hand pushing *deep* down on your tummy to assess that, sometimes massaging it to get it firm again. Ask your nurse to teach this to you, so you can always have a firm uterus and they won't have to massage it, and you won't bleed as much.

    8. Speaking of bleeding, take some adult pull ups with you to the hospital. I am not joking. One of the doctors I work with had her first baby in our hospital and it was neat to see what a doctor is as a patient and how they act and how they are a parent. It was a great eye opener! She refused the mesh panties with the huge pad, and went straight to her Adult Depends. GENIUS! She had no leaking or dripping like the mesh panties do and you'll change your gown all the time with those panties. If you take anything from my comment, this should be it!

    9. Babies love swaddling. This is one of the 5 S's that is most important. Learn this talent, and if you need help, ask the nurses that will be taking care of you, they are experts at this.

    10. Take advantage of the nursery if your hospital has one. You will NEED sleep before going home and doing this all on your own. You might as well let the licensed personnel take care of your babe for a few hours while you get some shut eye. Especially if you are staying overnight 2 nights, get some rest because labor and delivery is rough, and not getting adequate rest after going through that and staying up all night/day is going to drain you. BUT be sure to let them know you want to be present for all tests, baths, etc. and want to breastfeed.

    11. Football hold seems to be the best breastfeeding hold for new, first time moms.

    12. Your baby cries for 3 reasons. They are hungry, they have a wet/dirty diaper, or they are uncomfortable (pain, reflux, cold, hot). peek at the diaper, try feeding, and then try of those 3 things will work.

    13. Nap when your baby naps. Laundry, dishes, cleaning can always wait. You need to stay sane enough to function. Unless you are a vampire. Then kudos to you and I will be calling you to come help me at my house :)

    14. Babies lose weight in the first couple days of life, that is OK. Our pediatricians don't worry until its greater than a 10% weight loss. They lose the weight because they aren't constantly getting nutrients from a placenta and they actually have to work for food and learn how to breastfeed/bottle feed.

  23. 15. Bulb syringes will become your best friend. If your baby is choking, gaging, or snotty, this thing will help so much. I would even look into taking a pre-natal CPR class that teaches you about respiratory issues with little ones.

    16. Pertussis is a nasty disease for newborns. I would encourage you AND your hubby AND anyone that is going to be spending a significant time around your newborn that they get the vaccine (TDAP or DTAP) or a booster. This disease is coming back from people not vaccinating their children and it kills newborns. They do not have the immune system nor the respiratory system to sustain this disease. PLEASE PLEASE look into this.

    17. You are never fully prepared to have a child. (I am trying to get this idea through my husbands head since he is still weary of having children.) Even all the books and classes and peoples opinions in the world will never prepare you for what that first cry will bring you. It is the most spiritual experience (delivery). I have cried at multiple births because it is so special and God is truly there. It is amazing. But you are never going to be fully prepared. I believe that if you are scared, in pain, or just overwhelmed, a prayer will help everything. I feel like God trusted women in the bearing of children because he knows that we are capable of adapting to several situations. You will do great. Motherly instincts will kick in.

    If you want, I can send you a GREAT booklet that we give out to our patients for first time parents. Its like 50 pages (big text and pictures) all all new things. Just email me: with your address and I would be HAPPY to mail you them. I have a copy for myself at home. So I can study up and be a better nurse for my patients. But I can TOTALLY get you a copy. Let me know and good luck on your greatest blessing and bundle of joy!!!!! Your hospital will probably give you a lot of educational material too. So I won't be offended if you don't want it ;)

    I love reading your blog. It is wonderful. I feel like a creep for looking at it since I don't know you but you have a way of writing/blogging/photographing life and it is entertaining to read. Thanks!


    **This information that I mentioned above is what I tell my patients at the hospital I currently work at.**

    Ps. Sorry I had so much to say. I always make a mental note to myself when things come up while working that I think "I will do that. That is genius. Or I will NEVER do that."

    1. oh my! it is wayyy to early. I totally wrote my email wrong. It is: .... not hotmail. Sorry!!

  24. my biggest advice is to follow your instincts and the only way to learn to be a mom is through trial and error! Also, everyone has opinions on motherhood, many of them conflicting- so just do what YOU feel is the best and i promise it will be the best for you baby because nobody will love that baby and want the best for it than yoU!



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